3rd time's a charm

I'm sure you're all sitting on the edge of your seats to find out how my date went. No?

All I want to say is if a man is willing to travel to your shit town 2 days in a row, spend all that time with your crazy, insane friends and drink lots of beer; well then, he's pretty much perfect.

I'm off the dating sites now....what am I going to blog about? I've gotten so many compliments from all of you that I actually don't want to stop writing! I discussed it with HeHasADaughter and we agreed that as long as I'm not airing ALL our dirty laundry, I will keep writing. It's been a very, very long time since I was in the beginning of a new relationship- as in, since I was 18. So things have changed, and so have I. I have no clue on earth how to be a girlfriend anymore. Or especially a GOOD girlfriend. Even though I won't be trying to date anyone else...I'm going to have my work cut out for me anyways. Funny how I never thought of that beforehand. Did I really doubt myself that much in finding someone?

Dateable? YES!

There are plenty of things that make you "undateable". Superman t-shirts (unless you're just wearing it to bed, although some of my friends would argue this point), karate, cell phone clips, tshirts that say shit about having sex or advertising Viagra.

Having a child does not make you undateable. And if you're HeHasADaughter, then I think you're very, very dateable.

I have spoken to HeHasADaughter every day this week, til all ungodly hours of the morning. (Unless it's the weekend, and we're partying. Perfectly reasonable hours to me!) We've talked about everything and anything, make crazy ridiculous plans of things we'll do together,(and I mean CRAZY) and have discussed something that many men are afraid of. Commitment. He's ready. I'm ready. Let the good times roll. We're meeting on Friday and I really can't wait.

He is also now a follower of this blog, because I wasn't smart enough to hide the links from him on Facebook. Luck on my side, he actually loves it and told me he looks forward to reading more. So, here it is, J, and it's all about you!!

I'm really looking to see where this is going to go, so I've not even been checking any messages from other guys. I'm taking a chance on this one. And his daughter. And I could not be more excited!

It.Just.Got.Interesting.

First things first- a big shout out to my friend DJ- an old friend who is going down the same dating road as me. Dude- don't ruin my blog for me! :)

Of course, another interesting day of strange and hopeful messages. I've head things like "I like your cheeks", to "you are sent from Heaven". How lovely? 

I knew I would be called fat somewhere along the way- today was the day. Please read this copy/paste of an IM I got minutes ago:

[3:36:37 pm] Jerk :would you like to come over tonight

[3:37:24 pm] Jerk:ANSWER THE QUESTION fatsp

[3:37:26 pm]Jerk: fatso

[3:37:35 pm]Jerk: answer the question FATSO

[3:38:00 pm]Jerk: u fat pig

[3:38:02 pm]Jerk: come over

[3:40:39 pm] ME: what the fuck is your problem

[3:40:55 pm]Jerk: jsut trying to get your attention

[3:41:00 pm]Jerk: its the only way these days

 

Well, that was encouraging.

For those of you that actually know me well, I do like children. While I may not plan to have any of my own, that does not mean I don't like your kids.
I met HeHasADaughter yesterday morning online. His profile mentioned he has a daughter who is the love of his life. So it's not like I was confused on that point. But I thought he was cute, so I wrote to him. We chatted during the day, and began texting when I left work. A phone call had me up until 4am. He seems sweet, and nice. But.......he's got a kid!! She's 10. Of course, one phone call doesn't mean I'm going to be a step-mom :) But I do like to think ahead and remember the reason I am trying this online dating in the first place: to find the right man for me.
Is it possible that the right man already had a child with the wrong woman? Would I be able to handle a relationship like that?
Truth is, I really don't know the answer.I'm still not sure if I should give him another call and set up a date. I hope I wouldn't be setting myself, or anyone else up, for disappointment.

New week, new boys

My weekend was far better spent in the hot tub than chatting with boys! So I don't have much to say today. I did get a ton a messages though, which I am sorting through right now.
Here is a good one:
Dolphin-Boy: "If you want to chat please make the 1st move or if you don't want to discuss subjects like Lady Gaga's sunglasses....delete me so I won't have a hope,which is better for me then I will not be waiting for you. Please write me back."

Can you imagine if I wrote to a guy and was like " Please write me back...don't leave me here hoping to hear from you....whine, whine, whine"

I would never hear back from anyone! Why is it that men are allowed to be what can only be called a bit desperate, but if a woman seems even slightly "needy", we're tossed to the curb? I get so many messages every day practically begging me to chat with them. Begging- I'm not kidding!!

Do women want a guy who is begging you for an IM? I don't.

Post Date

I'm over at a friends after falling in front of my date. Keep reading to find out how!!

We decide that he will pick me up at the metro and we will head to dinner. He calls me when he is on his way and suggests a different restaurant. I am thrilled..he is taking initiative but making a suggestion, and also, it's a place that I love. It's also a BYOW. So y'all that know me know how that makes me feel. We stop at the wine store and pick up a bottle, then head to the resto. It's closed!!!! Luckily, there is a great, albeit not a BYOW, right next door.
We have decent conversation over dinner, but I make the sad mistake of ordering something with spinach in it, so I literally spend the entire night trying to see if I had anything in my teeth. I didn't. We go for a drink at a dive bar next door, and it's going ok. While I don't think he is the man of my dreams, I still feel like I want to know him. He asks me to go to the movies next week, and I enthusiastically agree!
He drives me home, and let's me out in front of my house. I get out of the car, and begin to walk across my front lawn. And proceed to trip, fall and otherwise embarrass myself as he tries to get out of the car to save me. The only thing hurt was my pride. This is the text I got from him later" Hey. hope you had a good time til you nearly killed yourself walking to your door :)"
And that, my friends, means that bad phone date has turned into someone who is for sure worthy of another date.


Here is another gem of a man:
He: I think you're super cute, and you seem like a really great girl. I'd like to get to know you, but I am a vegan. Can you respect that?
Me: I think you're super cute! I don't mind at all that you're a vegan! Do you respect that I eat meat?
He: No.

There you have it!

Date Day

In 2 hours, I will be face to face with the bad phone date! If this works out in any way, I'll have to stop calling him that. But for now, it's bad phone date. And bad date arranger, I might add. It was all done by text. Don't tell me it's humanly possible to be a bad phone person, and a bad texter? The face to face conversation had better be something worthwhile! At least I get to eat at one of my favorite restaurants! (I picked the place. And the time. And basically everything)

I've been speaking to a few other guys online, but nothing much has come out of it yet. There seem to be a lot of men out there that like the Shawshank Redemption. Which is totally cool, because I love it too. Kinda strange that they all seriously love this movie though. A quick check right now proves that the 15 profiles I just looked at, it's the #1 choice. Just an observation.

I've given up on one dating site...I didn't speak to a single decent person since I joined. And 2 sites are much more manageable anyways. I'm started to feel a bit overwhelmed with messages...it's hard to keep track of who is who and what they said previously. I'm going to have to start taking notes, which is kinda stupid, but I don't think I have a choice! And sometimes, I literally do not know what to say to some of these guys. I read their profile and it seems as though we have ZERO in common. What the hell do I talk about, the weather? Luckily being on vacation this week has been the perfect answer to those guys...I'm on vacation, so life is great!

Before I go, let me leave you with a message I got late last week. It actually made me smile.
"What's wrong with a busty, shoe addicted smoker? Nothing"

Monday morning- a look back at the weekend!

The weekend has come and gone, sadly. But it wasn't without merit-here is a sampling of the messages I got!

The Threesome: I got asked to join a threesome. Yes, I did. I got a message from a couple saying they loved the way I looked and would I like to join them in bed. I didn't have to think about it for long (my answer is no) but I did take the time to think that: 1- I would be going into that in the optimal position- the stranger. And 2- I guess it's nice to be asked? I don't know- it's weird, but I was oddly flattered!

I was also bombarded with messages about my anatomy, which I know sorta comes with the course. Delete!

I don't get why some of these guys don't have a picture on their profile. Let's me get real here, people...looks are important! You should have to post your picture on an online dating site- not some cartoon or shadow figure of what could be any man on the planet. Man up, put your picture there, then message me. I have more than one photo of myself, and they are true, honest pics!


I did hear from Steve, the bad phone date, on Sunday night. He wrote to me on the site we met on, asking if I had a nice weekend. And then this morning, he texted me. He said he remembered that I was on vacation this week, and that my pc is busted, so maybe I wouldn't get his online messages. Ok, I admit, I was a bit flattered with that too. It's nice when people remember things you tell them! I decided that I am for sure giving him another shot. We're going out for dinner on Wednesday. Hopefully, he can direct all his focus towards me this time. We'll see how it goes!

The weekend is here- no dates lined up

No dates lined up this weekend, but that's ok. There is really no one datable on the charts today!
Here is a brief summary of the men who are talking to me:

White Sock Guy : His profile says that he hates white socks. Being a curious (nosy) girl, I write to him and ask him why. He writes me back, while I sit waiting for some crazy sock story, only to hear that "You seem really nice, but I am not interested in you. So, thanks for your message, but unless you want to F**K, then no." Um, hello, asshole, but didn't I just ask you about socks?
The sister-hater is all over me, trying to get me to go on a date with him. One word: NO. His idea of a date is "let me smoke you out, take you for food and beverage and dance all night with you". If the only thing we have in common is a shared interest in recreational drugs (and I suspect yours is more than just pot) then it's not going to work. And oh ya, you hate your sister and felt the need to put that in your dating profile, and not in your search for a new family.

Steve, the phone date gone wrong, emailed me yesterday and it seemed like everything was ok. Maybe he was just shy on the phone? I'm thinking about giving him another chance. Because right now, my only other option is guys who can't spell, and write "shew" instead of "chew". Yes, people, his favorite past time is chewing gum. Lucky me.

So I try again!

Not wanting to give up on anything, I hit the dating site running. I answer all the questions it asks me to, promising a perfect match for me!

My perfect match DOES NOT INCLUDE anyone who:
is old enough to be my dad
tells me now that they have seen my pictures, they can die a happy man
has a profile that reads like a hit list of the people he hates in his life (mostly his ex girlfriend and his sister. Now known as the sister-hater)

I don't think I am being very picky. I'm open to almost anyone. As long as they know how to string a sentence together, don't live with mom and dad, and have a job. Fair enough?

I see a profile of a cute guy and decide to read all the things he has written.We'll call him Steve. He likes to go out with his friends, have drinks, have fun, and he hate onions! Perfect. I decide to be ballsy and send him an IM. He replies right away and we start to chat. He mentions he really likes my profile too, because almost every girl on the site mentions her favorite thing as "long walks on the beach". We don't live in a city that has a beach, so that could be a problem. He says I am the first real person he has talked to in a long time. Refreshing. I give him my phone number and he says he'll call! I have nothing to lose, right? I don't want to be the type of person who can chat all day long on the computer but is too shy to talk to someone!

I get home from work and am looking forward to our "phone date".
Steve calls, and the entire conversation involves me struggling to keep a conversation going, while he chats with other people on the computer. WTF?? Why did you call me if you have no interest in talking to me? So I spend about 20 minutes or so on the phone and quickly let him go. No word from him afterward.

Is it me? Am I the problem? Or just part of it?

Is it all downhill from here?

So, I recently joined an online dating site. I'm 29 years old, and I've been single, by choice, for 3 years now. I figured it was about time to get back out there and show the world (or the men in it) what I've got.

Not having a clue as to how to find a guy to date, I went the route that I'm pretty sure a lot of people go: online dating. I spent a lot of time working on my profile, asking friends to help me answer questions about myself. I decided to be honest about everything; how much I smoke (cigarettes and pot) , drink, my interests, my obsession with Christmas, etc. What is the point of lying when you're looking for a relationship?

I joined a site on Tuesday, and by Wednesday, my inbox was flooded with messages. Great, I thought!! Upon reading them, however, most turned out to be messages like: "I like your boobs". I did have one message from a guy we'll call Jack. He mentioned his favorite Christmas movie to me, and we hit it off. We IM'ed each other the entire afternoon, and by the time work was done, I had taken his phone number and promised to call him later that night.

Promising, right?

We chatted for hours, and again the next night! We had a lot in common, from our love of beer to our love of Family Matters (whatever happened to Judy on that show? She just disappeared!!) I told him what I was looking for in life, which simply is a relationship that evolves into something serious. We agreed to meet on Saturday night, grab a quick bite to eat and have some drinks. We would then meet up with my friends later in the night. Everything was amazing- we laughed, we talked, we kissed. We kissed quite a bit. My friends loved him, he loved my friends! We parted with a "See you this week!"

And then reality came crashing down when he Skyped me at work. He wasn't interested in a relationship, but he really liked me. Was it possible to date me, and still date other people? Um, no. What the fuck? Now, I know some of you are thinking this is perfectly ok. But it's not. Jack went into this knowing what I was looking for. Basically, he wants to date(have sex with) me, while doing the same thing with everyone else. Sorry, Jacko, I ain't that kinda girl. I'm a one person to another kinda girl.

Onto the next one!